Midterms are almost upon us! On Friday, I distributed a list of missing assignments to each of my students. I do this twice a semester, before midterms and before finals. It is always awful.
"But teacccccher, I did this!"
"Did you turn it in?"
"....."
"Well if you want to get a grade on it you have to submit it to me."
"But teacher, I don't know where it is!"
And so on. Truly, a day of excuses. While I sometimes question the true value of teaching these students about quadratic functions and imaginary numbers, I wish I could just teach them about accountability. Hearing their excuses, over and over again, is so draining. They're not little children... they're all between 16 and 22. So, why is HOMEwork still a foreign concept? If they don't do it in class, it won't get done at all. I have tried to combat this problem, and failed. As I feel that I have failed in many aspects of teaching. I'm not strict enough. I often encounter challenges that I'm not adequately prepared for. I know that some of my students are generally bored, while many others are usually completely lost--I can't reach them all. These are the difficulties that I face, on the days when I ask myself, what am I doing here?
I have 30-some days of school left, until exams in mid-May. That's assuming that we don't get any additional days off, which is extremely unlikely. So, my teaching career is swiftly coming to an end--whew. I am extremely grateful for this year and I know that it has been a character building experience, but I will not be sad to put down the chalk. No more rearranging the desks into perfect rows after my students come in and scoot them all around. No more bellowing over the rain and panting in the midday heat (we haven't had electricity in my classroom for a week, so no lights or fans). No more holding my pee all day because the bathrooms at school are locked.
After midterms, I want to do a couple of projects with my students. I found one activity that uses quadratic functions to design a fireworks display. Sounds fun--though I'm not sure how many of my students have ever seen fireworks! To be honest, I'm running out of things to teach them. We've done most of the textbook, except for logarithms... and I just don't want to go there. Imaginary numbers have been hard enough. Would I like teaching better if I was teaching environmental science? Maybe. What if I had air conditioning, working lights, and an overhead projector? That would make a difference. However, I am quite sure that teaching is not for me, in the long run. I enjoy my students (well most of them), but I really struggle with my present working conditions. And I get very, very tired of standing at the front of the room, all eyes on me, just hoping I don't mess up.
So, what's next then? No idea. My contract with WorldTeach ends at the beginning of June and then...question mark. I know I want to start my career in environmental conservation, but I don't really know where or doing what, specifically. I guess I'll start sending out resumes and see where it gets me! In the mean time, I'm teaching, tutoring, researching, and running the College Prep Program. Having fun and loving Micronesia, even if I'm not loving teaching.
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