Semuc Champey

Feeling ready to tackle Central America after a week of Spanish lessons (we were overly ambitious), we packed our second week in Antigua with excursions, hikes, and verrry long mini bus rides. On Saturday morning, we departed Antigua for Lanquin and Semuc Champey. Don't listen when the friendly tour agency representative tells you that it's a 6-8 hour journey; it's ten hours door to door. Knowing this in advance wouldn't have necessarily crossed this adventure off our itinerary - Semuc Champey was on my must-see list - but we might have rearranged our plans a bit.

We booked this part of our trip through a tour company in Antigua, GT Adventures. Normally I like to travel independently, but this was so easy, even though it probably cost a few extra dollars to buy the package. For $105 each, we got round trip transportation, two nights accommodation in a private cabin right on the river, and tickets for all activities. We stayed at the El Portal Hostel, the only accommodations located right at Semuc Champey, rather than in Lanquin, about 40 minutes away via pickup truck. Our room was beautiful, with a hammock out front, but no hot water - and on the last day, no water, period. I would definitely stay at this hostel again. The staff were really lovely and the atmosphere was fun and friendly. The thatched roof restaurant reminded me of the hostel we stayed in on Koh Rong Samloem in Cambodia last summer. Both only had power for a few hours each day, and neither had WiFi.

We loved visiting Semuc Champey. A 40-minute hike from our hostel took us to a beautiful overlook above the turquoise pools. After some selfies, we headed down to the water for swimming, tanning, and diving off rocks. We made our way down through about five pools, then back up to where we had left our shoes and day packs in a locker. Couldn't have asked for better weather or a nicer location. After we dried off, we walked back to the hostel for lunch. We had pre-ordered from the hostel's restaurant the night before, otherwise I think we would have bought some food from the local ladies who were grilling chicken, pork, and other tasty meats right outside of the entrance to Semuc Champey. The food at our hostel was pretty good, but a bit overpriced. And I hate passing up a chance to try a new flavor of street meat!

In the afternoon, we went caving. We wandered through the cave for about two hours, guided only by candles that we carefully held above the water. I was expecting a treacherous expedition, akin to the cave I explored in Laos last summer. The Guatemalan cave did not disappoint. I had my dive flashlight with me, which I used to examine the stalactites dangling from the ceiling and search for bats (fruitlessly). Dave and I both wore our scuba booties - I am so glad we had them, as they provided both foot and ankle protection against the sharp rocks hidden under the dark water. Others were walking barefoot, which looked pretty sketchy. We climbed up rickety PVC ladders, slid down a waterfall, and demonstrasted our faith in our guide when he told us to position ourselves in the mouth of a hole - and just let go, dropping through blackness into the next section of the cave.

Cervezas were in order after our trek, so we enjoyed a couple of cold ones while floating down the river on inner tubes. It was a full and glorious day. We left Semuc Champey the next morning, though I would have been happy to stay for another week, enjoying the natural beauty of this peaceful place. So as not to be misleading, I will mention that we got absolutely schwasted on our first night here, so spent the majority of the day sweating out hangovers. Peaceful hangovers.

We headed west back to Antigua, but if I did this trip again I think I would travel north to Rio Dulce, a Guatemalan beach town that I've heard great things about, then onward to the Bay Islands of Honduras. This itinerary would make more sense and involve less backtracking. Oh well. Anyway, we had to get back to Antigua - we had a volcano to climb. 

Semuc Champey

Feeling ready to tackle Central America after a week of Spanish lessons (we were overly ambitious), we packed our second week in Antigua with excursions, hikes, and verrry long mini bus rides. On Saturday morning, we departed Antigua for Lanquin and Semuc Champey. Don't listen when the friendly tour agency representative tells you that it's a 6-8 hour journey; it's ten hours door to door. Knowing this in advance wouldn't have necessarily crossed this adventure off our itinerary - Semuc Champey was on my must-see list - but we might have rearranged our plans a bit.

We booked this part of our trip through a tour company in Antigua, GT Adventures. Normally I like to travel independently, but this was so easy, even though it probably cost a few extra dollars to buy the package. For $105 each, we got round trip transportation, two nights accommodation in a private cabin right on the river, and tickets for all activities. We stayed at the El Portal Hostel, the only accommodations located right at Semuc Champey, rather than in Lanquin, about 40 minutes away via pickup truck. Our room was beautiful, with a hammock out front, but no hot water - and on the last day, no water, period. I would definitely stay at this hostel again. The staff were really lovely and the atmosphere was fun and friendly. The thatched roof restaurant reminded me of the hostel we stayed in on Koh Rong Samloem in Cambodia last summer. Both only had power for a few hours each day, and neither had WiFi.

We loved visiting Semuc Champey. A 40-minute hike from our hostel took us to a beautiful overlook above the turquoise pools. After some selfies, we headed down to the water for swimming, tanning, and diving off rocks. We made our way down through about five pools, then back up to where we had left our shoes and day packs in a locker. Couldn't have asked for better weather or a nicer location. After we dried off, we walked back to the hostel for lunch. We had pre-ordered from the hostel's restaurant the night before, otherwise I think we would have bought some food from the local ladies who were grilling chicken, pork, and other tasty meats right outside of the entrance to Semuc Champey. The food at our hostel was pretty good, but a bit overpriced. And I hate passing up a chance to try a new flavor of street meat!

In the afternoon, we went caving. We wandered through the cave for about two hours, guided only by candles that we carefully held above the water. I was expecting a treacherous expedition, akin to the cave I explored in Laos last summer. The Guatemalan cave did not disappoint. I had my dive flashlight with me, which I used to examine the stalactites dangling from the ceiling and search for bats (fruitlessly). Dave and I both wore our scuba booties - I am so glad we had them, as they provided both foot and ankle protection against the sharp rocks hidden under the dark water. Others were walking barefoot, which looked pretty sketchy. We climbed up rickety PVC ladders, slid down a waterfall, and demonstrasted our faith in our guide when he told us to position ourselves in the mouth of a hole - and just let go, dropping through blackness into the next section of the cave.

Cervezas were in order after our trek, so we enjoyed a couple of cold ones while floating down the river on inner tubes. It was a full and glorious day. We left Semuc Champey the next morning, though I would have been happy to stay for another week, enjoying the natural beauty of this peaceful place. So as not to be misleading, I will mention that we got absolutely schwasted on our first night here, so spent the majority of the day sweating out hangovers. Peaceful hangovers.

We headed west back to Antigua, but if I did this trip again I think I would travel north to Rio Dulce, a Guatemalan beach town that I've heard great things about, then onward to the Bay Islands of Honduras. This itinerary would make more sense and involve less backtracking. Oh well. Anyway, we had to get back to Antigua - we had a volcano to climb. 

A Week in Antigua, Guatemala

Today, we finished our five day intensive Spanish course at the Ixchel Language School in Antigua, Guatemala. After twenty hours of instruction, we've both come a long way. We've learned the nuances of masculine and feminine words, studied intricate grammatical rules, and memorized conjugations for muchos verbos. My maestra, Hellen, was charming, engaging, and patient. She's a great teacher.

Every so often, I'll have a moment of clarity and it feels as if I've unlocked a door. Some Spanish phrase that I've heard many times - yo quiero Taco Bell (truly, the worst possible example I could think of) - suddenly makes sense. I know what each word means and how they relate to each other, not just the gist of the phrase itself. It's pretty cool, and while there have certainly been moments of frustration, I have really enjoyed these lessons. David and I hope to continue our studies this summer; we might take a class at the local community college or just work from a set of Spanish language books I bought on Amazon. Who knows. Maybe we'll end up in South America or the Caribbean after we finish grad school, so it can't hurt us to somos preparar!

Last night at dinner, we spoke only in Spanish. (Despite our newfound vocabulary, it was at times a rather quiet meal.) We are staying with a family in Antigua - it has been a lovely experience. I was expecting more of a traditional homestay, but our host mother, Nivia, seems to run her house more like a hostel, with meals included. There are ten people staying here right now; we eat meals in two shifts. However, I truly can't complain. We might not be getting as much of a cultural experience, but Nivia is extremely warm and always willing to help us with our espanol. Also, she's a fantastic cook. She has this homemade salsa picante that I could almost drink straight from the bottle. Our bedroom is simple and clean (er, it was clean before we dirtied it up) and the house is beautiful. White stucco, with a shaded inner courtyard. As with many buildings in Antigua, the street front is quite narrow, so it's impossible to guess the size of the structure until you're inside.

After class today, we went on a coffee tour at the Azotea Cultural Center. We toured a museum of Mayan instruments, walked through an exhibit describing the coffee making process from plant to cup of joe, and wandered through a functioning coffee plantation. As a coffee lover, I thought this was an excellent tour (for the low price of $12, including transport and a sample of coffee liqueur). The guides were great and everything was laid out very well. It was extremely informative and engaging. Did you know that light coffee roasts actually contain more caffeine? There was also a riding arena at the cultural center, where some lucky little gringas were riding English seat. Gorgeous horses (looked like warmbloods) - much better looking than the poor scrawny carriage ponies in town.

The city of Antigua is beautiful. Cobblestone streets, stucco buildings painted an array of colors, churches dating back to the 1700s. Antigua was formerly the nation's capital until it was moved to Guatemala City. Hence the name, Antigua (old) Guatemala. I would come back here in a heartbeat. It's not as cheap as I thought it would be, but it's not exactly expensive. $3 for a delicious fresh fruit smoothie compared to $1 in Southeast Asia. We've had a couple of pricey meals, but you can get a plate of amazing tacos from a hole in the wall for a couple of dollars. There are lots of Americans here, some Australians, a few Europeans. Antigua also seems to be a popular destination for tourists from other parts of Guatemala and elsewhere in Central and South America.

Now, we're parked at our "spot," the Bagel Barn - a pleasant little cafe with delicious bagels, fantastic coffee (grown at Azotea!), movies screened daily at 6:30pm, and the fastest Wi-Fi in Antigua (so rumor has is). We've come here almost everyday. Creatures of habit, obviously. We haven't exactly lazed around over the past week, but haven't roamed around too much either. We've had class from 8am until noon,  typically followed by a few hours studying (at Bagel Barn) each evening. We did escape Antigua last weekend, to hike Volcan Pacaya. It was a fantastic hike - and at the end, we roasted marshmallows over hot volcanic rock! Best damn marshmallow I've ever eaten.

No one will be able to accuse us of lazing around next week, that's for sure. Tomorrow morning, we head to Semuc Champey, for two days of caving, tubing, and marveling at nature. (I am beyond excited for this part of our trip, though dreading the eight hour bus ride.) On Monday, we're hiking Volcan Acatenango (sounds like "ah-kt-TIN-ANGO"). I'm a little nervous! It's a 5+ hour hike uphill, with 30+ pounds of gear - then we spend the night at the summit. My fingers are crossed that we'll see lava - every volcano I trudge up seems to have performance issues. Don't worry Mum, Acatenango isn't the peak that will be erupting beautiful, glowing lava - it's the next peak over, Volcan de Fuego.

Almost immediately after we get back from our hike, we head to Lago de Atitlan, for a couple of days of reading in hammocks and other forms of relaxation (e.g. cervezas) - or more hiking! Then it's goodbye to Guatemala. We'll ride a bus for a mere 14 hours, which will take us to La Ceiba, Honduras. And a ferry to the Bay Islands the following morning! Can't wait to dive my face off.

Until then, we will continue to enjoy this stunning country, and continue to consider "missing" our flight back to the US.

Hasta luego! 

Lost in Saigon

We arrived in Saigon at 7am, bleary eyed and disoriented after our eleven hour night bus from Nha Trang. We stumbled into a fancy Starbucks-esque chain coffee shop (Trung Cafe), where I was aghast to find the cheapest coffee on the menu ringing in at two dollars. Oh well, the Wi-Fi was free. Actually, the coffee was so delicious that I don't regret the splurge (two whole dollars!!) one bit. Vietnamese coffee has a lovely flavor, almost sweet and rich like chocolate. They serve it with a metal filter (something like a mini French press) balanced on top of a glass or mug. So you know that your morning caffeine fix is freshly brewed.

Another awesome bus ride...

With the blessed assistance of Wi-Fi and our tablets, we found our hotel on the map and off we went. We booked this place, the Ngoc Phan Guesthouse, in advance, after learning from some past experiences. We've had pretty good luck finding places to stay upon arrival, but sometimes it's just nice to not have to worry about it. One night in Nha Trang we must have wandered into - and out of - a dozen hotels before eventually booking one online. This time, booking online worked out very well for us - we loved the Ngoc Phan! Clean rooms with high ceilings, comfy beds, solid Wi-Fi, hot showers, lovely staff. At the end of a nice quite alley off one of the main tourist streets. What more can you ask for?

The day after a night bus is always rough, but I think we functioned fairly well. I put in an order for another dress to be made (at the Loan Ha Silk Shop, which I highly recommend) and found a tailor who would make a suit for Dave, based on his measurements. He arrived the following day, but only had two days in Saigon - you need at least three for a suit, even longer is better. I tried the two most famous shops first: Cao Minh (prices starting at $600...just a tadddd over his budget) and then Cao Vinh, where the staff were so rude that I just walked out. I ended up at the Phan Collection Shop, where the ladies in the shop were positively lovely and there was a large selection of fabrics. I'm happy to say that Dave now has a custom-made, charcoal gray suit (wool cashmere blend) and I think he's quite pleased with it. I also had a custom-made, pointed stick built so I can fight off the ladies.

Oh, by the way, Dave is here! He had a smooth journey from Dulles to Narita to Bangkok to Ho Chi Minh City (the formal name for Saigon) and I met him at the airport with a sign - just in case he had forgotten what I look like. The duo has become a trio and we brought Dave up to speed with a quick intro to crossing the street in Saigon, Frogger style. There aren't too many cars here, but plenty of motorbikes and scooters. The key is to just confidently cross the street while making eye contact with anyone who's speeding toward you, and don't do anything unpredictable.

Dave!!

Hard to show the intensity of the organized chaos in a still image

We visited the War Remnants Museum, which - until recently - was known as the American Atrocities Museum. I definitely saw another side to the story, very different from what I read in my history classes. I am really interested to learn more about Vietnamese history, especially the last hundred years. Anyone have a good book to recommend? We also toured the Reunification Palace, where Vietnamese  presidents lived between the end of French colonization and 1975. I learned a lot of facts, but I need to find a way to put it all together in my head. History has never been my strongest subject. We wandered into the Saigon central post office, a gorgeous building that has become a tourist attraction. Quickly wrote a couple of postcards since it seemed like the thing to do.

View from the Reunification Palace

Posing in front of the cathedral

At the central post office

We met some lovely people, including a British chap named Andy who is working in Saigon as an English instructor, consultant, and future author. (Andy, if you read this, don't forget that I want to read your book!) We spent quite a bit of time together while in Saigon then, as always, had to say goodbye. It's one of the most interesting things about traveling - you meet so many people, but do you really make new "friends"? And no, I'm not talking about Facebook friends. All you can do is be social, try to have meaningful conversations that are based on more than the standard questions (where are you from, how long are you traveling, etc.), and then, inevitably, bid a fond adieu to these people who you knew for a few minutes, hours, days, or weeks. Some of them you might see again. And you just hope that the ones you see again are the ones you liked.

I really enjoyed the bustle of Saigon, though at times I wished I could have crossed the street without fearing for my life. Amber and Dave were both ready to move on, but I could have stayed a few more days. It was stimulating and diverse, without feeling claustrophobic like Bangkok. We participated in a pub quiz at the Spotted Cow - a weekly Thursday night event - and met quite a few expats. (Our team finished, respectably, in forth place.) I'm not sure if this is the same in other parts of southeast Asia, but many of the expats here seem to be more transient than those in Pohnpei. Got bored in South Korea, so ventured down to Saigon to test the waters. Waiting it out in Saigon, working 15-hours per week as an English tutor, until scraping up enough money to venture elsewhere. Maybe that's because it's so much easier - and cheaper - to get around in this region. Or maybe it's something about the urban environment. Either way, I miss my lovely little Micronesian island and think about it everyday. Having traveled a bit, I know it's one hell of a special place.

Next stop: A two day tour of the Mekong Delta, then on to Cambodia!

(Photos by Amber Ham)

Nah Nah Nah Trang

We arrived in Nha Trang at 6am, after a 12-hour bus ride that I would describe as mildly unpleasant. Amber and I were the last two passengers to board, so we got stuck in the very last row where there was a wide flat bed accommodating five people, rather than the individual berths in the rest of the bus. Not especially comfortable, though I managed to get a few hours of sleep. Plus, you get what you pay for; our ticket was $13. Tip: We booked our ticket, from Hoi An to Nha Trang to Saigon, through our hotel in Hoi An. We're traveling with TM Brothers Company and had I read the reviews online in advance, I would have stayed far away. That being said, it really hasn't been so bad. Apparently Sinh Cafe and Mai Linh are better open tour bus options, but that's just what I've heard.

View from the back of the bus

A few people told us not to bother with Nha Trang and we had planned to go to Mui Ne instead, but I'm so glad that we changed our itinerary. I absolutely loved Nha Trang! Here are some of the things we did:

- Mud baths and mineral pools: We went for the cheap option ($9 each, incl. transport) and while it wasn't decadent, it was very nice and the facilities were clean. We sat in a pool of mud (rather soupy actually, I expected it to be thicker), sunbathed while the stuff dried on our faces, walked through Turkish baths (weird squirty things), relaxed in warm mineral pools, and drank some fruit smoothies, as one does in southeast Asia. A good half day excursion; I imagine it would have been much less pleasant had it been very crowded.

- Spa time: Amber got a Thai massage (more popping and bending than a Vietnamese massage) and a bikini wax. I had my hair dyed purple. I'm not really ready to talk about it yet.

- Beach time: Also known as burn time. Nha Trang has over seven kilometers of white sandy beach, which looks quite lovely, especially if you don't examine it too closely. At times there can be quite a bit of trash floating in the water. The stretch of land running parallel to the beach is all green space, with clusters of topiaried trees in various shapes and dozens of stone sculptures. I loved this.

Amber, pre-burn

- Diving: I went for a two tank dive with Nha Trang Fun Divers; I definitely recommend this company. Plus, the dive was $45 including all gear, which is pretty hard to beat. The diving wasn't spectacular - visibility of 30-45 feet, no big fish at all (another place that's been horribly overfished) - but I was just happy to be underwater making bubbles. Saw some barracuda, lots of nudibranch, spiny urchins, lionfish, dragon leaf fish, frog fish, sea cucumbers. Good macro life and some nice corals. Swam through a cave that was teeming with small orange fish; that was pretty magical. Also, I felt very confident in my diving skills; I maintained my buoyancy without ever inflating or deflating my BCD underwater (just controlling with breathing) and dove with 3 kgs of weight and a 3 mm wetsuit, less than 7 pounds. I used to dive with 12! It took me a long time to become a confident diver and I'm pretty proud of myself. Though as always, my limiting factor is cold, not air. I still had about a half tank of air after each hour-long dive, but I was ready to surface as my teeth were beginning to chatter. The water was about 82 degrees.

- Drinking: Apparently Nha Trang has some of the best nightlife in Vietnam, so how could we say no? We spent one night hanging out with a bunch of 18/19 year old boys - we're cougars! - and drinking "buckets" of red bull and vodka. Not such a great idea. I heard a rumor that these cheap drinks, at bars advertising buy-one-get-one-free specials all night long, often contain formaldehyde?! Either way, my body did not react well to these beverages. I was in bed by 1am but still felt like a zombie for the entirety of the following day. Didn't stop us from going out again two days later, on our last night in Nha Trang. We had a traditional Vietnamese BBQ at a restaurant called Lanterns - we cooked our own snapper at our table, with some help from the waitress. It was so, so good. One of the only " wow" meals I've had on this trip. We split a bottle of wine and ended up sharing our table with two 26-year-old (age appropriate!) Swiss guys. They were lovely and we spent the whole evening with them, shooting the shit as they say. We ended up at a rooftop bar where, I kid you not, everything was free: a bathtub filled with ice and bottles of Tiger beer (later, filled with two drunk guys) and a whole BBQ spread - chicken, coleslaw, potato and pasta salads. Waiters passed around trays of (free!) eclairs. Not sure what planet we were on, but it was awesome.

BBQ red snapper DIY

OK, so our balls are iced... Now what?

Some things we didn't get to do:
- Visit the Cham Towers: I would like to see them next time, but they're a bit out of town so we didn't make it over. I also hear that they've been rebuilt several times, so they're not as old as they appear to be.
- Vinpearl Amusement Park: Take Asia's longest cable car over to a resort island with a water park, roller coaster, light show, etc. Still not sure about this one. One of the dive guides told me they have a great aquarium there... which is one reason why there aren't any big fish on the reefs. Also, I read online about some pretty poor treatment of animals during their circus shows.
- Parasailing: It would have cost about $16 each for Amber and I to go up; we weren't sure if this was a good deal or not and never really looked into it.
- Run along the beach: Ugh, really wanted to do this! It was always hot. And being hungover may have also been a factor. I don't think I'll be able to run in Saigon, but maybe when we make it to the Mekong?

From the top of the Mojzo Inn

I'm not sure if I can pinpoint exactly why I liked Nha Trang so much. It didn't have the same charm as Hoi An, but it felt more "real" somehow. This is the tourist high season, though it didn't seem overrun. It is definitely a tourist destination - tons of hotels, cheesy restaurants, an amusement park - but it also seemed like there were a lot of people just doing their thing, going about their daily lives without thinking about the tourists around them. And, of course, there's the ocean; there are mountains; and there are islands. The trifecta. I'll be back here one day. Maybe next summer to do a dive master internship?

Highlights from Hoi An

One of our favorite destinations so far, Hoi An (which translates to "a peaceful place to meet") is a small historical city with just over 100,000 residents - not including the throngs of tourists. Like Luang Prabang, this coastal town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, recognized for its unique mixture of native and colonial architecture and design. We really enjoyed this place. Here are some of the highlights from our visit:

- Zoom Zoom:

As we pulled into the quaint city of Hoi An in our taxi from Da Nang, we stopped on the side of the road and a young woman, who had been on the back of a motorbike, hopped into the passenger seat. She chatted with our taxi driver in Vietnamese, then told us he was lost and that she would show him the way to our hotel. She also told us that her name was Zoom Zoom. We began talking and soon we learned that she also was, of all things, a tailor. She insisted that we come to her shop later so she could make us some clothes. We thought she was quite lovely. Before we reached the hotel, she exited the vehicle and reclaimed her seat on the back of the bike, which had been following us.

At the front desk, the lovely attendant asked us whether we would be having clothes made and if we knew where to go. Of course, we mentioned Zoom Zoom, and this sweet lady smiled at the dumb tourists and told us that Zoom Zoom is one of many infamous scam artists in Hoi An. Had our taxi driver been talking on his cell, before we reached the city? Why, yes! So she knew where and when to wait for him to drive by, us his hapless passengers. She would lure us to her shop, unsuspecting, and then mercilessly rip us off. Don't know how many bullets we've dodged so far on this trip, but I'll add this one to the list.

In the taxi, pre-Zoom Zoom

- Our Hotel: 

Oh, the Hoy Huong Garden Hotel! I could have stayed there for weeks. The front desk was always staffed by beautiful Vietnamese women wearing traditional dresses, long sleeved silk garments with slits up the sides, loose pants underneath. They were pleasant, helpful, and spoke great English. Our room, with two twin beds, cost $22/night. I think this was a pretty good deal for Hoi An. There were fluffy towels, clean sheets on the beds, free bottled water daily and green tea to be brewed at your leisure, and - ROBES. Took me forever to get ready in the morning if I put on that robe after a shower. The decadence!

There was a gorgeous pool outside, though we never used it, and a very good buffet breakfast - coffee, fruit, juices, rice and noodles, eggs made to order, etc. We also found the hotel to be a very social place and we met quite a few people. As we haven't stayed in any dorms, sometimes we miss out a bit on backpacker social life. But I didn't feel that way here. I only had two issues with this place, albeit small issues. One, the water pressure was a tad skimpy (though my showers were nice and hot, so really I should stop bitching). Two, the hotel was about a 15-minute walk outside the center; normally this wouldn't phase me in the least as I'm an extremely enthusiastic and fast walker (probably going to walk Amber to death before the end of this trip) - but the road was a bit unpleasant. Difficult to walk on the sidewalk because it was cluttered with stationary motorbikes. Difficult to walk on the road because it was cluttered with speeding motorbikes.

Pretty fancy for the likes of us

- Tailoring:

Hoi An is the tailoring capital of Vietnam, though I didn't know this beforehand. It became apparent pretty quickly though - there are over 400 tailoring shops in this small city. But how do you choose one? For Amber and I, the decision was made for us. Shortly after checking into our hotel, we headed out to grab lunch. Craving Mexican, we stopped at the Green Chili, which was recommended on TripAdvisor (my assessment: decent food, a tad overpriced). The chef enthusiastically came out to check on us, which was nice, but after a while he became... a tad pushy. He insisted on showing us the best places to go for tailoring and massages. And we knew that by taking us there, he would of course earn a commission.

Lacking the energy to shrug him off, and unwilling to be rude, we followed him down the street, into the Silk Road tailoring shop (91 Nguyen Thai Hoc). Before we could say, "We're just looking, thanks," we were seated at a table and handed cold towels, bottles of water, and books of pictures of pretty women wearing pretty clothes. I whipped out my tablet and began scrolling through my Pinterest. Oh, the possibilities! However, I didn't really get inspired until I started perusing the shop's fabric selection, running my fingers over bolts of silk and swatches of wool. Extremely dangerous.

In the end, Amber had five pieces made: two dresses, one skirt, another skirt that converts to a dress, and a pair of lovely linen trousers. The ladies were very patient with us as we came up with concepts and tried to turn our visions into coherent ideas. Pockets! Pleats! Ruffles! Capped sleeves! I managed to limit myself to one dress, though it's quite the dress... You could call it a gown. I just couldn't help myself. At the first fitting - the next day, the turnaround time is very quick - I was a little uncertain. But after a few nips and tucks, I had to hold in a squeal of delight during my second fitting. It's quite lovely. Dave will have to take me somewhere fancy so I can wear it. Ahem.

Might have a coat made in Saigon...

- Cooking Class:

We found a brochure for the Thuan Thinh Cooking Tour, then booked it after reading great reviews on TripAdvisor even though the $30 fee was a tad over our budgets. It was worth every penny! We started the day with a trip to the market, where we picked up supplies and ingredients for the for courses we would prepare. Actually learned a lot about selecting fresh foods - shrimp should be clear, not cloudy; papayas should be deep orange or light green, but never in between. And carrots should be stout, as the Vietnamese don't eat the center of the carrot. I casually mentioned that I loved mushrooms, and Ty - our guide and the owner of the company - instantly added another dish to our menu, just so I could get my fungus fix. We also had a great time getting to know our classmates, two Irish guys and one gal. They gave us some great recommendations for Cambodia, as they had just come from there.

After the market, we boarded a lovely wooden boat for a twenty minute ride down the river. I had picked up a durian at the market, anxious to try it after reading so much about how disgusting it is; this pungent fruit is outlawed in many public and confined spaces, such as hotels, buses, and airplanes. Truly, it wasn't bad! Tasted much better than it smelled. Still looking forward to eating tarantulas in Cambodia.

Heading up the river

Our next mode of transport was a little rowing boat, which took us to a small house where we were shown how rice milk is made. Well, how it was made. First, the rice is ground in a large concrete device, turned with a wooden handle. We all had a stab at it. Then, the husks are separated from the grain by tossing them in a large flat dish; it was obvious that the tossing motion took a lot of finesse. Finally, the rice was placed into another concrete grinder after soaking in water for a few minutes; the rice was passed through several times, becoming thicker each time. Today, most people save time by purchasing rice flour at the store, then adding water to make the rice milk. I asked how long it would take to ferment the milk into wine and whether we could have some with our meal. Got a laugh, but not the answer I was hoping for.

The cooking facilities were great; we each had our own station, utensils, and ingredients. We made five dishes: gorgeous shrimp and vegetable spring rolls, a light beef vermicelli over salad, beef soup (pho), and a quick stew made with mushrooms, tomato, pineapple, okra, and tamarind. All very delicious, and I actually think I could replicate a couple of these dishes at home. Learned a lot, had an absolutely fabulous time. I highly recommend this experience to anyone who visits Hoi An. One tip: We did the afternoon class, from 11:30 to 4:30, which is not advertised on the website. The morning class begins at 8:30, which wasn't nearly as appealing.

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We spent four days in Hoi An, but it would be easy to spend a week or more there. It's very lovely. Touristy, but manages to remain delightful. Lots of places to eat and drink (great margaritas at the Pear Tree Cafe). There are several other things I would have liked to have done if we'd had more time: yoga on the beach, cycling through the rice paddies, a lantern making class. But you can't do it all and it was time for the next journey: a 12-hour night bus to Nha Trang. Oh goodie.

Back of the bus, not exactly a prime seat

The Epic Journey: Pakse to Da Nang

In the end, we made it safely from Pakse (Laos) to Da Nang (Vietnam) - and truly, the 18-hour journey wasn't that bad. But there were several moments during the day when I was sure that we were absolutely fucked.

We left our hotel in Pakse at 6:30am, hopping into a tuk tuk that was sent by the company that booked our bus ticket (Pakse Travel & Air Co). Of course, it was pouring rain. And I was already in a bad mood because, well, it was 6:30am. Sorry Amber, thanks for tolerating me. We made it to the bus station in only a few minutes. Our VIP sleeping bus to Da Nang had been canceled, but I was under the impression that we would instead be traveling on the VIP sitting bus. Nope. Local bus! Ripped seats, no undercarriage storage, not a great smell. No air conditioning. And, no other tourists or, more importantly, English-speaking persons. What does one do in this situation, other than just sit back and enjoy the ride?

Local style

On the way out of town, we stopped several times to pick up various pieces of cargo. Soon there was a large bag of rice under my feet. At one point there was at least one chicken, one pigeon, and who knows what else on the bus. Every time something was taken on or off, I glanced back casually at our backpacks stowed on the last row of seats. After having my luggage run over by a shuttle bus in Hawaii, I am perhaps a little overprotective of my belongings.

Thank god the windows opened because it was not a nonsmoking vehicle. But hey, at least the seats reclined. At some point, we stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. We had been told that a meal was included with our ticket, but ended up paying 20,000 kip ($3) each. Didn't argue. I left the mystery meat on my plate, but ate both my and Amber's servings of stir fried bamboo shoots.

We drive through some beautiful countryside - lots of mountains and rice fields, not many buildings. I will mention that both Valium and Xanax are readily available over-the-counter here, so this whole voyage could have been much worse. After who knows how many hours, the bus began stopping every few miles and an officer would come on board to look at passports. No one asked for ours, so I just kept quiet and kept reading my (digital) book. I almost didn't bring this tablet (on which I'm typing, well swiping, now) with me, but it has been an absolute godsend. Google Nexus 7, you're awesome and I love you.

Eventually, we reached the border. Since I'd done some research, I knew we'd have to walk across. We hopped of the bus and I decided it would be best to bring our backpacks with us, just in case. First, we paid $1 to exit Laos. As the immigration official leafed through my passport, a woman standing next to me kept insisting that I needed to pay another dollar. I ignored her and eventually my passport was handed back to me. The officer even smiled at me. In hindsight, I remember reading about "unofficial" overtime fees that are paid when crossing the border late at night or on the weekends; this was a Saturday. Bribe #1. Sorry, oblivious tourist over here.

Then, we walked through two arches: one signifying the end of Laos, the other the beginning of Vietnam. At this point, I had lost sight of our fellow passengers, whose appearances I'd tried to retain in my memory. We saw what we thought was our bus just to the right, past border control, as we handed our passports to a man behind a glass window. This process took a very long time. He kept putting down our documents to process people who showed up in line behind us. Before long, I noticed that each passport handed to him had a bill tucked inside it. Bribe #2. I also noticed that the bus in front of us had left.

"Hammmm...," I whined. "I think our bus just left."

Always the proactive one, she dashed off to check, but an officer yelled at her to go back to the window. Well, we assume that's what he said; no English was spoken. Very glad we had all of our gear with us at this point or I really would have been shitting bricks. Instead, I was just sweating profusely.

Finally, he stamped our passports and we dashed, in a mild panic, into Vietnam. We couldn't see our bus or anyone we knew. Then, the wizened old lady who couldn't have been more than four and a half feet tall and had been shamelessly bumming cigarettes from us all day, called to us from the side of the road. Tranquility restored, we sat on a curb in the blazing sun for about half an hour until the bus appeared. In the meantime, an overly friendly and likely overly drunk man stopped his motorbike next to us so he could harass the white people. Everyone behind us laughed as he shook our hands, spoke to us in Vietnamese, then jokingly tried to steal my water bottle. No idea what he was saying, but I think he liked my tattoos. He kept touching them, so that's what I gathered. We just smiled.

Back on the bus. Out like a light. At about 6pm, we stopped at a gas station in a small town. A young man sitting near us starting saying "Da Nang, Da Nang!" and gesturing for us to get off the bus. We were clearly not in Da Nang and our scheduled arrival time wasn't for another three hours. We held our ground and refused to get off the bus. At one point he picked up my backpack, and that's when we had to begin firmly refusing. I think Amber actually slapped his hand. He gave up and the bus pulled away. What was that about? No idea.

A while later - it was dark now - we pulled over; there was another bus on the other side of the road, facing the opposite direction. Everyone on the bus started yelling at us, "Da Nang! Da Nang!", and pointing at the other bus. We protested (hadn't we just come from that direction?), but soon our luggage was being carried across the street and we were left without a choice. Our second bus truly was a VIP sleeper, with two levels of flat beds and TV screens playing a Vietnamese movie that seemed to revolve around several women being chased then beaten by men. Hmm. I accepted my fate and promptly passed out.

I woke to Amber shaking me. Apparently, we had arrived and were being kicked off the bus. I wiped the drool off my face, pulled out my earplugs, and grabbed my bags. We disembarked - on the side of a highway, all alone, at midnight.

A man on a motorbike pulls up and tells us he will take us to Da Nang. Okay, great! He drives off to find another friend, and they return with a helmet for each of us. The ride will cost 200,000 dong per person, about $10 each (a small fortune here), but our options are pretty limited at this stage. As in, our only other option is sleeping next to the highway. Plus, these guys were very nice and even let us stop at an ATM since we didn't have the appropriate currency.

Before we took off, Amber asked me for the name of the guesthouse where I had made the reservation. I had both the name and address on my tablet. Which had run out of battery. She could have wrung my neck and I wouldn't have blamed her, but seemed satisfied when I remembered that the place was less than a five minute walk from the train station.

Off we went, into the night, no sign of Da Nang. I was very glad that the two bikes stayed close to each other. I don't know how many miles out we had been dropped off, but it took at least half an hour to get into the city. And our drivers weren't exactly slow.

At the train station, I plugged in my tablet and retrieved the information we needed. A kind taxi driver drew us a quick map, but we almost missed the guesthouse as we walked because all the lights were off and a gate was pulled across the entrance. Amber went to a nearby stall that was open to use their phone; I stood in front of the building and shouted. Eventually, the owner came out. In his underwear.

Of course, we couldn't fall asleep until the owner removed the giant spider from our bathroom. He calmly picked it up, then pretended to eat it. There were no sheets on the beds. But whatever - we made it.

Spider friend